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Nov 05, 2013

My first birth was ok but I'd never call it great. Some parts were ok, some not so much. I didn't feel involved, I didn't feel respected, and once I had pain medication I felt almost like I no longer mattered. I got a healthy baby in the end so I'd count it as ok.  My second was fantastic. It was a great birth. I went in looking for a medication free vaginal birth. My midwife, doula, and husband were all very supportive of this. My nurse was great and so supportive of my plans too. She'd just pop in to tell me I was doing great and head back out leaving us to do the work. It's exactly what I wanted. About 38 hours into labor I was exhausted and asked to talk about pain medication so I could rest. The nurse came in and respectfully gave me my options and fully discussed them with me. I chose an epidural. It wasn't the plan but it's what I wanted at the time. Breaking my water and pitocin to speed things up were both offered and I declined. My wishes were respected without question or threats, something I've seen done many times as a doula. My midwife caught my daughter and placed her skin to skin, again exactly what I wanted. I was treated like an educated person that was capable of making decisions for myself, that's all I was asking for and I got it. That's what makes a good birth. 

I'm so glad you found your good birth the second time around, Melissa.  It can take time, and sometimes a birth or two.  I am sure in your work as a doula you help other women find their own good births, too.  Take care, and thank you for sharing, Annie    


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